CAPS is terrible. I want to find a way to share more about my experiences at CAPS with other students, because there needs to be changes. I keep brushing off my experiences, but they've consistently been negative and I feel it needs to be talked about. I've heard multiple other students have extremely negative experiences with CAPs besides me and I don't understand why these issues are not being discussed and addressed. At one point I was treated rudely and condescendingly when I came in for an emergency appointment because I was struggling with immediate and pressing suicidal thoughts. This was after initially being denied an appointment, period, even though I came in early in the day (11AM) because all appointments were filled for that day. I was only even seen because I began crying and asking what the purpose of CAPs is if there is no system/no one on call for emergency situations when a student is reaching out because they feel they will harm themselves that day and need immediate help. This was at the BBC campus. Because of this they pulled a counselor aside to speak to me before my appointment. She was extremely rude and accusatory to me, repeatedly saying "You said you needed to talk. So talk." While I was crying and having problems articulating why I was there and why I was having suicidal thoughts. I left crying and later harmed myself. At main campus I attempted to make another appointment, which also went badly. After filling out paperwork and sitting and getting assessed, all the counselor could tell me was "go to these referrals." When I told her that I would also like to take advantage of the counseling services we're offered at CAPS in the meantime, she essentially just told me no, because she thought it would be counter-productive as they only offer short-term counseling. While I understand her concerns, these resources are available to everyone and I don’t think it was okay to just flat-out be denied access to the services here because my issues were considered “to great.” At this point I honestly asked her: What is the purpose of CAPS? I could have looked on the internet and found referrals myself. I don't currently have a car or the resources to go to another center, as well as having a great deal of anxiety about counseling, period. CAPS is supposed to be a resource to help students. Yet every time I go there and actually find the courage to speak up for my questions and needs, I feel spoken down to or even flat out ignored. CAPS doesn't put students first. They are cold, but to call them cold and clinical wouldn't even be completely accurate - clinical denotes a level of professionalism that I sadly haven't seen.