Here you are once more, on the Arthur Murray Grande Ballroom review page on Google. No... no, don't leave yet. Stay awhile -- relax a bit, have some tea. Chamomile perhaps? It was always a favorite of mine, back in the old days in the Romanian countryside, where I grew to manhood alongside Scruffles, my pet bear. Scruffles was a gentle bear for the most part, but he was a deeply troubled soul. I could not forsee what terrible things he would do to that family. Sometimes I think back on it and wonder what more I could have done for him; wonder if there were any signs that I missed, or if I had ever been unkind to him in any way...
Oh, but I forget myself again. I apologize. Let me stoke the fire one moment.... there... now where were we? Oh yes, the ballroom. Yes, here you are once more, perhaps after a few days, or maybe even months. You've heard whispers about it, you've seen the videos, and perhaps you even watched a friend go. You saw it listed once, you clicked on it -- you debated on whether or not you should dip into the money you were saving for your wife's anniversary dinner. Or perhaps you scoffed, your nose held high, unwilling to part with your hard earned cash in exchange for this utter rubbish. Whatever the case, you're back here, aren't you?
Is it that it was the first thing that appeared on your google search? Perhaps it's always been on your bucket list? Or has the morbid curiosity in you reached that point of no return? Are you unable to restrain yourself from clicking that link? Are you even okay?
Don't answer that last question; you ARE okay. You will be okay. Everything from now on will always be.... okay. You see it wasn't just you that brought you back here for what could possibly be the fifth time... it was Arthur Murray . You don't know Arthur Murray, except that you do. Arthur Murray has always been with you, whether you're aware of it or not. The lingering presence, the angel on your shoulder, the devil in your gut -- all of it was Arthur Murray. Arthur Murray has been with you in your dreams. Arthur Murray was with you during your SAT's. Arthur Murray was there, or will be there, when you stand beside the pastor and watched your beloved walk down the isle.
Arthur Murray was there. Arthur Murray was always there.
And here you are again, reading this review, wondering whether or not you should purchase a lesson; wondering if it will fulfill you in ways only few other games have. Or maybe you just wonder why you're back here again, after so many other visits, trying to figure out just what it is that compels you to return. Well there are no more questions you need to ask yourself now is there? There are no more questions because suddenly the way is clear.
Arthur Murray is calling you home. From the moment you were born, Arthur Murray has been there with you, watching over you, waiting until you were worthy of the glory that lies beyond the purchase button. Every time you nearly touched it, it was Arthur Murray that slapped your hand away.... because you were not yet ready for the greatness. But Arthur Murray is calling you, and you can hear him now. Arthur Murray is waiting for you on the other side. The great beyond lies waiting for you -- it is a place of light, healing, transcendence... and whales. Lots, and lots of whales.
But above all the great beyond is that one place you've always been walking towards though you never really knew it. It's Eden. It's Valhalla. It's the Stars. It's the Grande Ballroom.
Come home to the great beyond. Come home to Arthur Murray.