Dear Lindas staff,
You are truly talented! I've had bad haircuts before, but this one... this one takes the cake.
Let's start at the beginning shall we? Here I was hoping to try a new barber, maybe one a little closer to home, maybe one a little cheaper or more convenient. So I take a trip up the street to the new neighborhood barber, Linda's! How bad could it be?
Well when I walked in I was immediately, but quietly invited to a seat. I thought, "hey that's a little strange, but I'm glad I don't have to wait".(more on this later)
When the barber (NOT Linda, I was to learn) asked how I wanted my hair cut I replied "tapered up the sides, cut half off the top and straight across the back". I was immediately set upon by the barber next to us who seemed to think I wanted a "box" across the back. I kindly replied, "no, not a box, just straight and tapered rather than to a point". After some back and forth, I guess we agreed to disagree what to call it. But my barber seemed to understand well enough and she began to cut my hair.
As she went about her business I noticed how quiet and uneasy the atmosphere was in the shop. Right then I saw a woman pacing around inside. I knew she wasn't a customer, but worked there. I thought she might be another barber waiting for more clients, but when another man came in, they asked him to take a seat and they'd be with him soon. My haircut continued and the woman would grab the broom and sweep hair fairly often. I wasn't bothered until she literally swept hair from underneath my and my barbers feet while she was still cutting! When no one said anything to her, despite being clearly annoyed, I knew this had to be Linda herself. I never confirmed my suspicion that it was Linda for sure, but it was obviously the owner of the business, monitoring her minions as they did her bidding. When she was done she came back and, no exaggeration, lurked right over the shoulders of the two barbers. And there she stayed. For the rest of my sentence.
There was little I could do but wait her out so I did my best to smile as my barber cut. As my adventure continued I watched 3 men (local Hawaiian men) come and go, all with the same skin fade. I didn't mind that my cut was a little longer, but I began to worry as I my barber cut more and more of my hair.(snip, snip, snip) I thought "well maybe she's just not done yet and it'll all come together in the end"(snip, snip, snip) i saw what I thought was clearly a mistake where she cut too much off (snip snip snip) but was confident she just wasn't through with the rest of the haircut and it'd all look right in the end (snip, snip, snip). Well after about 40 minutes of watching in 'shear' horror, she finally announced she was all done. I looked at what was left on my head and I've now got extremely short hair on both sides of my widows peak (which makes me look like I've got a receding hairline, I'm 28, btw) and huge white walls above my ears - like a good 1/2 inch of no hair. The back, of course, was taken down to a skin fade, but at least it was flat across the back.
I got up and paid and watched as my barber quickly ran behind the curtain to eat a sandwich before another customer came in. I quickly escaped before Linda broomed beneath my feet again. As I came home and showered, hoping it would be better after a rinse, I see in the mirror my head looks like an old football with a receding hairline.
I'd give 0 stars if I could for both the awful haircut and the awkward, confrontational experience.
If you're a local, go for it. They look like they do a decent skin fade... if you're into looking the same as everyone else who comes out of the shop. If you're a white guy, with white people hair, seek help elsewhere.